Actors

I have long admired, and somewhat envied, actors. And I'm not talking about those that make it rich and famous. I mean actors, in general.

"What do you envy about actors?" you might ask.

I envy the chance they get to step out of their own lives and into the shoes of someone else; to forget their own cares and worries and see how it is for another. There have been many times in my life where I have wished for this ability. Or maybe it is just the desire to step out of all the roles that I HAVE to play, and into a role that I choose to play...

Aside: I believe the actors I enjoy watching the most are those that are truly able to feel empathy for the characters they portray.

Another aside: I found the following unpublished partial post, entitled "Actors Have More Fun", sitting around since June 11, 2007:

I've been thinking about jobs a lot lately, and I think that actors are lucky. And no, I'm not talking about money and fame. I'm talking about getting paid to act like you are somebody else. Sometimes I think it would be really nice to be able to leave my own life behind for awhile and, even if the pretend life I was leading wasn't the nicest, at least I wouldn't be tied to those problems forever and could return to my own issues at the end of the day; would that make me a "method" actor?

Epiphany

I realized something about myself this weekend, and though it surprised me, with thought it is so very obvious. I have always thought of myself as a writer, and it is true that I have been writing for many years … I have a friend from middle school who recently reminded me that I was writing a novel in my spare time even then, and I have always found the act of writing, especially in a journal, to be relaxing and writing fiction to be enjoyable, for the most part. (Don’t get me wrong, I know that writing is hard work.)

Even when I have time to write, I don’t always choose to do so. I won’t drop everything to write, and I don’t feel frustrated and wound up when I don’t get the chance to write. I do, however, begin to feel that way when I don’t have something good to READ! With retrospection, I realized that the directive from an experienced writer which has always thrilled me the most is this: “To be a good writer, you must be a reader.” That, dear friend, is what I have always excelled at. I was even a young reader, having learned to read when I was three years old … my husband says that it is my competitive, jealous nature that wouldn’t allow my brother to know how to read when I didn’t, and he may be right, but I prefer to think that it was my subconscious recognizing what I have only just consciously acknowledged…

I AM A READER!

Now if I can just figure out how to make a living reading, then I would truly have found my calling. Any ideas?

Happiness

I just have to say that The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin is an absolutely AWESOME book, and the paperback version was just released. I read the book last year, borrowed from the library, and loved it so much that I just had to get a copy for myself. Every time I pick it up to remind myself of something, I end up reading through to the end of that chapter. Gretchen's writing is absolutely captivating, and her situation is very easy (at least for me) to relate with. I also love her blog by the same name.

I have been trying to have my own happiness project this year, variable rates of success. I am proud to say that I have flossed my teeth every day (except one) since February 3rd, and have been almost as good about brushing my teeth twice per day ... two of my Resolutions for the year.

I have been less good about getting enough sleep, as evidenced by the fact that I am writing this after 11 pm on the night before a day when I have to get up at 6:15 am. That being said, I should probably get some sleep...

Still Not Writing

Who am I kidding? Certainly not anybody who might be reading this blog. And certainly not myself. I want to write; I really do. But there is stuff going on in my life right now (which I cannot blog about) that seems to be keeping me from doing the writing that would most help me to cope with what is happening in my life right now. How's that for convoluted?

I am joining a writing group, and though I have missed the first two scheduled get-togethers, I WILL attend the next one. Come he** or high water. To digress -- for some reason I like that phrase, but I don't know why. :)

BREAKING NEWS: We added two new members to our family; two little, short-haired, tabby male kittens from the same litter. One is very exploratory while the other is somewhat more timid. The funny thing is, though, the more exploratory one (I'm calling him "Rascal" for the time being) is much more aggressive when it comes to wrestling with his brother (I'm calling him "Velcro"), but when they finally decided they were hungry, Velcro was very possessive of his food and wouldn't let Rascal eat anything; we had to get Rascal his own separate dish so that he could eat. They are ADORABLE! I'll try to post photos when I have some available...

Unintentional Hiatus

Wow! The further I get from posting, the harder it seems to be for me to get back to the site to generate a new post. And unfortunately I don't really have much to say, except that I am working at being happier and healthier.

I still try to read the blogs on my blogroll pretty regularly, though right now that is probably about once every two weeks. And look, I've added a new blog. It's Craftastic World (http://craftasticworld.blogspot.com/), and it is so much fun! I have to admit, I know that blogger personally, and I am honored to have been the co-recipient of one of her fairy doors, and the parent of three additional recipients. Thanks so much, Craftastic! Each one of the doors is greatly treasured!

Oh, and I forgot to tell the world: I did manage to craft a 50,000+ word novel during NaNoWriMo 2008; if I can remember how to do it, I'll add my 2008 Winner award to this page ... but no promises. :)

I do, however, promise to try to be more responsible in posting here. I know that I joined "Blog Guilt Free" and so I don't have to blog for anyone but myself, but I think I need to make this promise to myself, too, or I'll just forget to write, and that is NOT a good thing for me.

Anticipation, Tribulation, Jubilation (almost)

Well, it is November again, and you know what that means ... NaNoWriMo has begun! That's right, it is once again National Novel Writing Month, and I am competing again. My post title refers to the predominant feelings I have had regarding NaNoWriMo this year.

First, ANTICIPATION! I have been anticipating this month for nearly 10 months. Why? Because now I have an excuse to write, write, write up a storm, and I probably won't hear too much grief about how much time I am spending on the laptop.

Unfortunately, anticipation made way for TRIBULATION when the month started and I still didn't have a plot, characters, anything even remotely creative to throw on paper. So what did I do? I started two ... that's right, two ... different stories on November 1st. I started with one story, switched to another and wrote over 2200 words in that vein, and then returned to the original. I am considering the other story to be written another time, but for this month it was a good way to get the creative juices flowing and at least some words on paper.

Now, I am feeling some JUBILATION (almost). The almost is because I have managed to write over 7K words on my original story, but I'm afraid that I won't be able to stretch it out into 50,000 words. However, I know that if I am going to do anything this month, I can't allow myself to fall into questioning when I am doing ... this is the month to push my doubts away and just write furiously. It has been too long since I allowed myself to just create without worrying that it was worth it, and it feels good to get to that point again.

35

I find it an interesting coincidence that the title of this post reflects two things ... 1) My (almost) age; and 2) the score I received on Dr. Phil's test. Below are the questions and scoring rubric, in case you want to take this test yourself; if you do take the test, please post your score in the comments to this post. Thanks!

-Beth

Dr. Phil's Test

Below is Dr. Phil's test. (Dr. Phil scored 55; he did this test on the Oprah show - she got a 38.) Some folks pay a lot of money to find this stuff out!

Don't be overly sensitive! The following is pretty accurate and it only takes 2 minutes. Don't peek, but begin the test as you scroll down and answer.

Answers are for who you are now --- not who you were in the past. Have pen or pencil and paper ready.

This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today. It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees. It's only 10 Simple questions, so grab a pencil and paper to keep track of your letter answers to each question.

Ready??

Begin

1. When do you feel at your best?
a) In the morning.
b) During the afternoon and early evening.
c) Late at night

2. You usually walk...
a) Fairly fast, with long steps
b) Fairly fast, with little steps
c) Less fast, head up, looking the world in the face
d) Less fast, head down
e) Very slowly

3. When talking to people you...
a) Stand with your arms folded
b) Have your hands clasped
c) Have one or both hands on your hips
d) Touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) Play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with...
a) Your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) Your legs crossed
c) Your legs stretched out or straight
d) One leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with...
a) A big appreciative laugh
b) A laugh, but not a loud one
c) A quiet chuckle
d) A sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you...
a) Make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) Make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) Make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted. You...
a) Welcome the break
b) Feel extremely irritated
c) Vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) Red or orange
b) Black
c) Yellow or light blue
d) Green
e) Dark blue or purple
f) White
g) Brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are...
a) Stretched out on your back
b) Stretched out face down on your stomach
c) On your side, slightly curled
d) With your head on one arm
e) With your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are...
a) Falling
b) Fighting or struggling
c) Searching for something o r somebody
d) Flying or floating
e) You usually have dreamless sleep
f) Your dreams are always pleasant

POINTS:
1. a=2 b=4 c=6
2. a=6 b=4 c=7 d=2 e=1
3. a=4 b=2 c=5 d=7 e=6
4. a=4 b=6 c=2 d=1
5. a=6 b=4 c=3 d=5
6. a=6 b=4 c=2
7. a=6 b=2 c=4
8. a=6 b=7 c=5 d=4 e=3 f=2 g=1
9. a=7 b=6 c=4 d=2 e=1
10. a=4 b=2 c=3 d=5 e=6 f=1

Now add up the total number of points.

OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care." You're seen as vain, self-centered, and extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.

21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and the n, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

UNDER 21 POINTS:
People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you’re boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

Sold!

If it were up to me, I would sell (almost) everything in my house for $50,000 dollars, and then I would use that money to start over. With $50,000 I could get the things that are really necessary (shelter, clothing, food) and enough "extras" to keep my kids and me going for quite some time. I could probably manage to do that with $20,000, but then whoever got what I currently own would be getting quite the bargain.

.

The things I would keep:

• Photos
• Washing machine
• Vacuum cleaner ... this is an old canister vac (belonged to my Grandmother); it is the best vacuum cleaner I have ever owned.
• Shredder ... purchased this year, and this is one of those "indispensible" items.
• Stereo ... this gets used pretty regularly, so it's either keep this one or purchase another.
• Sewing machine ... I don't use it very often, but Owl does
• Some clothing ... mostly things for the kids, although there are a very few items of my own that I wear often enough to keep.
• The hanging wicker chair my parents bought for me when we lived in Italy; every time anyone sits it in they declare it to be their favorite chair.
• Music ... nearly all the CDs I own and everything purchased electronically. I'd probably have to purchase an external hard drive to remove the items from my current computer so I could put them on the new computer I'd buy.

The things I would replace:

• Computer ... I would purchase a laptop rather than a desktop, mostly for the convenience of portability, but also because most current laptops are faster than my old dinosaur.
• Kitchen items ... pots, pans, dishes, cups, utensils. I don't think I'd take anything from my current kitchen (although maybe the two frying pans I purchased this weekend).
• Clothing

Things I might replace:

• Books (although we have a great local library...)
• TV/VCR/DVD Player
• DVDs ... this, of course, would depend upon the previous line

Of course, I'm sure that there are other things I would come across in the process of boxing up my current belongings to give to the new owner. Also, since this type of decision is currently not completely up to me, this is just a "pipe dream".

Recycling ... In The Extreme

I try to recycle; and for my area, I think I do a pretty good job. Sadly, this past summer, our University recycling center closed to the public; they now only provide services to the University. There is (and has been for some time) a recycling center that provided more services ... including taking used oil and batteries ... but that is about 15 miles from our house; with gasoline nearly $4/gallon and the relative size of the house in which I live, it is not feasible for me to store the recycling items long enough to make a single trip worthwhile. Therefore, I have had to reduce my recycling efforts to: 1) cardboard - corrugated and the paper that is used to make cereal boxes; 2) paper - mixed and shredded paper; 3) cans - aluminum and tin; 4) glass; 5) plastic - milk jugs and soda pop bottles. This is a much shorter list than I am used to, and it has had an effect on the amount of trash going into our barrel for pick-up. :(

However, even as hard-core as I have been, there are some things that I never would have considered as recyclable. Take, for instance, this article from snopes.com. I understand, on a conscious level, that condoms are made from rubber, and that rubber BANDS are the core of your typical hair band. I also understand, on that same conscious level, that some of the condoms used in the hair bands in question were found to be inferior at the factory and were never used for their original intended purpose. Unfortunately, even having that knowledge at the conscious level does not keep me from having the initial reaction of disgust.

Additionally, when it becomes clear from the article that not all of the condoms used inside the hair bands were sent directly from the factory, but instead may have been recycled AFTER use ... disgust and outrage battle for the upper hand … and end with a resounding EWWWWWWW!

Sabbatical

I have been reading a book, The Marriage Sabbatical, and I must admit that I have been in a much better mood than I’ve felt in a long time. My mind is caught up in the possibilities; racing headlong into the fantasy of solitude, freedom, adventure. If I were to get such an opportunity, I would like to take at least three months, and I would use that time to focus on three things: 1) writing without interrupting; 2) exercising regularly; 3) eating more health consciously. I would surround myself with music (I suspect that, quite often, it would be louder than my family likes) and not much else; material things are of little consequence.

However, I don’t know if I would actually take a sabbatical from work – I probably couldn’t afford to take more than a month away – nor do I know if I would simply use the time to live separately (to live alone, for the first time ever in my life) and reflect for personal growth, or if I would use the sabbatical for more formal study.

For as long as I can remember, since I first had the ability, I have written. Short stories, poems, personal journals (not the food-tracking kind), novels – I have been writing “novels” for years, though not with much success. Unfortunately, I haven’t written as much in past years as I had when I was younger, taking lengthy breaks between frantic writing stints (my last major effort occurring November 2007 during NaNoWriMo). Feeling this way and knowing that I want to write, that I HAVE TO write or my soul withers, I have been considering returning to school to obtain a degree, either Master of Fine Arts (MFA) or a Master of Arts in English with an emphasis in creative writing. I would prefer an MFA. According to the University of Idaho website, “The M.F.A. is the terminal degree for those wishing to teach creative writing at the college or university level.” Although I enjoy my job, it is just that … a job. I would like something more fulfilling, and I definitely believe that writing creatively (and possibly teaching creative writing) is my niche.

Now I just have to be determined, be willing to make the necessary sacrifices, be willing to step outside my comfort zone, and I CAN do this.

Is Procrastination Healthy?

Seriously, Is Procrastination Healthy? is an actual article and, being the procrastinator that I am, I just had to check it out. Here's what I learned:

Procrastination is good (i.e., "The peculiar genius of desperation and 4 a.m. logic is a fecund contributor to the national product."), except when it isn't (e.g., "When relationships are ruined, spouses feel betrayed, bosses are disgusted, and a person is frozen, frustrated, and disillusioned with that nonperformer staring back in the mirror ... procrastination is an enemy to mental health.").

Also, did you know that there are six different types of procrastinators? 1) Perfectionists, 2) Dreamers, 3) Crisis Makers, 4) Worriers, 5) Defiers, 5) Overdoers (all defined in the article). What I want to know is … what if someone falls into more than one category? For example, I tend to be a dreamer and a perfectionist (although occasionally I am either a worrier or a defier).

Furthermore, research has shown that procrastinators don’t benefit from time-management training because procrastinating is not an inability to manage time, but a “glitch” in the procrastinators’ personality style. So … in order to overcome the tendency to procrastinate, or at least to reduce the frequency, the procrastinator has to change her thinking.

I know that sometimes procrastination is healthy, but, when it comes to my writing, I’m the dreaming perfectionist who never gets started … I’ve been meaning to edit my NaNoWriMo 2007 novel, and I haven’t even begun the process (which includes printing the document out, single-sided and double-spaced, and reading through it with pen in hand). However, this procrastination article, and several other books I have been reading, just might get me started.

Redirection

I realized that by turning Unearth My Muse into a weight-loss blog, I am being unfair to myself. Don’t get me wrong; I have nothing against weight-loss blogs (just check out my blogroll). I absolutely LOVE PastaQueen (formerly Half of Me), and The Diet Naked Blog led me to Mel … and her other site, Actual Unretouched Photo. Some day, when I’m worthy, I hope to meet her (and possibly introduce my brood to hers).

However, in turning MY blog into one solely about weight-loss, I am taking the easy (for me) way out. A review of my first post, and my sub-title, shows something of my original goals. First and foremost, this is supposed to be a place where I can stretch and exercise my writing muscles. Secondly, it is a place to record the happenings of each day so that someday, when I am old(er) and gray(er), I can come back and be reminded of my day-to-day life.

That being said, I might still comment on my weight and anything weight-loss-related that strikes my fancy. However, I am not going to limit myself to one relatively narrow focus.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Pyramids

According to MyPyramid.gov, my daily intake (based on a 2,000 calorie diet) should be:

6 oz. grains
2 ½ C. vegetables
2 C. fruits
3 C. milk
5 ½ oz. meat & beans
Limit solid fats and sugars to 265 calories a day.

Here’s how I think I can apply this to a plan for losing weight:

4 - 1-oz. servings of while grain bread/crackers/brown rice (2 oz. less than recommended)
5 - ½-C. servings of vegetables; 1 serving for a snack and 2 servings at both lunch and dinner
3 - ½-C. servings of fruit; 1 with breakfast, 1 with lunch and 1 for a snack/dessert
3 - 1-C. servings of milk; 1 C. fat free milk with each meal
2 servings of meat or beans, 1 each at lunch and dinner
1 sweet treat ≤ 100 calories

Now I just have to apply this philosophy and begin exercising on a daily basis, and I should see some (happy) results.

Oh, no!

This morning’s weight = 194.4 lb. Ugh! I wish I could be happy with my body; D is always telling me how gorgeous I am. Unfortunately, I don't feel gorgeous. I don't even feel pretty. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I don’t believe that I’m ugly; -- (most) people don’t turn from me in disgust or fear -- and I have some features that I actually like … pretty eyes, nice cheekbones … but for the most part, I don’t feel like any special.

Why is weight such a big deal for me? I’ve had people outside my family show surprise when I mention my weight. One person even told me, “You wear it well.” Unfortunately, I just don’t feel attractive, or that I’m wearing it well. And it is more than the number on the scale (although that is a big part of it); I also know that I am not in good health … I get winded going up the stairs at work; my feet hurt all the time; I can’t walk faster than a 15-minute-mile without my heart pounding. For my own health and the sake of my children, I need to make better choices with my food and my activity choices.

I know that what will work best: 1) track everything that goes into my mouth AND 2) exercise regularly. Unfortunately, I am losing the battle with keeping a clean-enough living space for regular exercise at home, and the bad-weather months are on their way, so I’m probably going to have to get a gym/fitness center membership … then I’ll actually have to use it. Also, I am atrocious at tracking my intake; I’m just not that dedicated (or organized). Further, I give in to temptation way to easily (no willpower WHATSOEVER); and there are so many tempting things. You see my dilemma.

But, if anybody cares (other than me), I’m not giving up. I’m going to keep working at this.

No Weight

It's only been a week, but it feels like longer. I didn't weigh in on Monday ... because I forgot to weigh myself. I was headed out of town for a 1.5 day seminar in Seattle, WA and in the rush to get everyone else ready for the day, and then finish my own packing and getting myself out the door, I didn't get around to weighing myself.

Also, while I was gone, I made use of the hotel fitness room on both Tuesday and Wednesday mornings; I used an elliptical machine for the first time Tuesday morning, and managed ten minutes before the program I selected became much too difficult to continue. Then I moved to the treadmill and walked for another ten minutes. On Wednesday, I used the treadmill and walked for just under fifteen minutes, completing a mile. I then did some leg lifts to work my abs. I've continued with a few small crunches to work my abs, and also did some squats while waiting for the water in the shower in reach an acceptable temperature yesterday. My current goal is to incorporate exercise in my daily routine, so that it becomes, well, routine.

Oh, and yesterday I also went with my son's Cub Scout troop for a hike; we spent about two hours on the path, about an hour spent climbing the trail, fifteen minutes milling around at the summit, and 45 minutes coming down. That was quite a workout.

I guess I'll find out tomorrow if any of this activity, paired with my new habit of eating only when I'm hungry and stopping when I'm full, has caused any change in my weight.

Time

D is out of town this week, attending the Photoshop World Conference in Las Vegas. He has reported to enjoying himself, though he has expressed surprise and shock at the cost of food. Apparently the low-cost buffets are the stuff of legends; started on a grain of truth but no longer based on reality.

I find myself wanting to take advantage of this time "alone" (I'm not really alone, as the kids remain in my care). Just some of the things I want to do: 1) Watch movies - D and I have such different tastes in movies that I feel I should use the opportunity to watch my action films; 2) Read books; 3) Write - I haven't done any significant writing in months; not since completing NaNoWriMo last year; 4) Exercise; 5) Eat like I'm on vacation - raw cookie dough and Dr. Pepper while watching afore-mentioned action movie(s) [takes me back to weekends in College with my girlfriends]; 6) Sleep.

I am torn as to which activity to give my attention to, so I am ending up doing (almost) none of the above; I did get some extra sleep because Lumpy went to sleep with me one night, and Tigger did the next night (earlier going-to-bed time for me so each of them will get enough sleep). I act as Tigger did earlier tonight while trying to decide what to have for dinner -- I treated the kids to TV dinners -- there were so many that he wanted to try that he was unable to settle on a single item. I think he finally just opened the freezer door, closed his eyes, and reached.

Unfortunately, in my indecision, I have managed to let the time pass without doing any of the things outlined above. Not that the time was a total waste, as I have managed to write this post and also listen to some wonderful music, but it has passed without my full attention and, thus, is now lost.

Weight Update

I know, I know. I didn't update this blog with my weight last Monday ... which is surprising considering that my weight was (slightly) lower last week; on Monday I weighed 196.8, down 0.2 from the previous week. This week, however, I am happy to report that there has been a more significant loss. My weight this morning was 193.4. Woohoo! I am trying to follow the guidelines in The Weigh Down Diet; eat whatever food I want, but only eat it when my body is truly hungry, take the time to eat slowly, drink a calorie-free beverage (water or tea) with my meal, and stop eating when I feel full. I also tracked my caloric intake for a couple days last week, but I am not very good at doing that. Other than that ... the loss is a mystery. I haven't started exercising, yet (I plan to start tomorrow, with either a quick workout in the morning, if I wake up early enough, or a walk during my lunch).

With my goal to lose 50 pounds before my birthday in 2009 (mid-November), I better get to work.

Mixed Bag

D and I passed our 10th Anniversary on Friday. SHOCKING! We each took the entire day from work to spend time together; a big breakfast at The Old European restaurant (open daily from 6am-2pm) , "The House Bunny" at the movie theater, a large seafood meal at home with the kids, and "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" after the kids were in bed. Surprising, I know, but neither D nor I had ever seen "Fast Times..." prior to Friday night. We also watched "Used Cars", a Kurt Russell movie from 1980, last night.

***

Unofficial Movie Review: The House Bunny. This movie is rated PG-13, and I think that might be a little too relaxed: adult content (scantily clad women, frequent innuendo) is highly inappropriate for young teenagers. However, even though I was skeptical, I did enjoy the movie. I would not purchase or purposely re-watch this movie, but it was good for some laughs. Rating: 3 stars (out of five).

***

The school year is about to begin, and even though classes don't start until Wednesday, we have school-related activities tomorrow (Kindergarten Orientation Night) and Tuesday (Back-to-School Night at the elementary school). I am also leaving work early tomorrow to have a special lunch and one-on-one time with Owl since she is about to start High School. I'll try to report on that later.

Weight

As of yesterday morning, I am the heaviest I have ever been, with the exception of my second pregnancy -- I weighed 199 pounds on the eve of Tigger's birth. I don't know why, but at some point in my life I promised myself that I would never weigh more than 200 pounds, and I have been diligently battling food for (most of) the past twenty years to make sure I kept that promise, previously afore-mentioned pregnancy excluded. I am now dangerously close to breaking that promise, and I am almost frantic in my desire to keep that from occurring.

Last month, I thought I had found an answer … the Weigh Down Diet. Of course, I thought The South Beach Diet was the answer before that, along with the 3-day Fruit Flush diet, The Atkins Diet, The Cabbage Soup Diet, etc. As I mentioned, I have been taking part in a prolonged conflict with food for more than half my life; they say that hindsight is 20-20 and I look back at my 135-pound high school self and regret all the time I was unhappy with my weight and build. I was a cheerleader my senior year, and I wanted to be the girl that was thrown into the air, but I had to accept my status as “base”.

For my current self, I know that the weight I am carrying around is not healthy … I get winded going up stairs, my ankles and feet hurt almost constantly, my waist measurement is 39”, my BMI is >30. I realize that I must make changes in order to lose some of this weight, and it can’t be another diet that calls for drastic changes. In fact, I now believe that a diet is not the answer at all. I need to add physical activity into my day. Certainly healthy food choices will also be necessary, but throughout the war I have relied on controlling the food rather than on exercise. That is about to change.

My goals:
1. I will achieve at least 30 minutes of aerobic exercise three days per week.
2. I will use exercise bands to achieve three days of strength training each week.
3. I will post my weight on this web site every Monday.
4. I will post any insight as to weight fluctuations, up or down.

I will appreciate any support you provide (be it through your comments or your prayers).

Oh, and my weight as of yesterday morning was 197 pounds.

Day of Fun (and relaxation)

We had a bit of fun today. I hope these are memories the kids will keep:

First a little back-story -- on Friday D and I purchased another vehicle … three months ago we had two, now we have four (and there are still only two drivers in our house). Anyway, through the generosity of D’s mom (“Thanks, Mom!”), we were able to purchase a 1996 Chevy Astro. Today we all took a ride, to the local Baskin Robbins. Each of us got a milkshake: Oreo Explosions for Owl and Tigger, Peppermint for D, Mint Chip for me and Strawberry Cheesecake for Lumpy (most of hers is still in the freezer).

When we got home, D had to leave again -- he has training for work in the nearest metropolis (far enough to drive, too far to come home every night) -- so the kids and I went to the local outdoor swimming pool. We stayed about 80 minutes. Lumpy was having a great time, but her lips were purple within the first half hour; as her teacher has pointed out, she has “no insulation.” Tigger kept bouncing off the high diving board; I jumped once and then dove off the lower board a few times. Owl and I, alternately, watched Lumpy working on her swimming and doing handstands. Although Lumpy rarely let go of the side of the pool, she did work on putting her face in the water and “swimming feet.”

I’m not sure why I’d not thought to visit the pool earlier this summer, and with only 9 days left before school begins, there aren’t that many more opportunities for us to swim, but we might try to go back again before the summer is officially over …