Weight Loss or Health and Fitness

Rather than waiting for inspiration to strike, I’ve decided I need to start writing about my daily life. I actually made that decision several weeks ago and was going to make one of my regular entries about my attempts at weight loss. I was going to “Diet Naked” (Mel, will you be my friend?) in front of all of you. Then I read this article (I was directed there through this post by Cheeky Lotus. It made me start to think; what kind of example am I setting for my kids (and I do include my son in that statement; it’s not just females that suffer from eating disorders).

So I decided that while I am not happy with my weight, I don’t want to set the example of “dieting” because I’m unhappy with how I look. I don’t want to embark on a journey with the mindset that it will eventually come to an end and then I’ll be able to return to my former eating habits. Instead, I am setting health goals for myself and will work towards them with the knowledge that this is my new life and there is no going back.

The example I REALLY want to set is about choices; specifically, about making the correct choices regarding what food I use to fuel my body, and what activities I allow myself to be involved with. That being said, I have set the following short-term goals for myself:

1. To begin the Couch-to-5K Running Plan.
2. To create a “Deal-a-Meal” type of food plan that incorporates the suggestions from http://www.mypyramid.gov/, the G.I. Diet, and the
   12 Abs Diet Power Foods [http://www.menshealth.com/cda/article.do?site=MensHealth&channel=nutrition&category=abs.diet&conitem=b72a99edbbbd201099edbbbd2010cfe793cd____ ] (and to start using it).
3. To start spending a portion of each weekend outside being physically active with my children (for as long as weather allows) and to show them myself being physically active inside, too.

I also have long-term goals:

1. To make healthy eating choices.
2. To get regular exercise (30+ minutes) at least 5 days a week.
3. To be able to walk and not feel my thighs rub together.
4. To tone my upper arms so I can wear short-sleeved or sleeveless shirts without having to worry about showing arm flab.
5. To tone and strengthen my core muscles.

If accomplishing these goals causes the number on the scale to go down (and help me fit into smaller pants), then that is just the icing on the cake of setting a good example for my kids and making healthier choices for myself.

Grandmother

We had a memorial service for my grandmother this past Saturday. She died on the eve of Christmas Eve last year, and this was the first chance we had to get everyone together. It was an interesting experience, but I felt somewhat detached.

My parent's pastor said a few words and a prayer and asked those of us gather to relate examples of my grandmother's sense of humor. I had nothing to add at the time. I remember my dad telling stories of my grandmother's humor. She once sewed (almost) every hole in one of his sweaters shut; the only hole she left open was the one at his waist...

After a few prayers, my dad spread my grandmother's ashes in the Columbia River. Then, he drank a gulp of beer (her preferred drink, though she gave it up when my grandpa got sick) and poured the rest of it over her ashes in the water. Followed by a bloom from my grandmother's rose. The rose was from a small plant that she'd had when she moved into the assisted living facility, but she was worried that it was dying in the room with her so she asked someone to take care of it for her. That was three years ago. According to the caretaker, it bloomed every year but hadn't bloomed this year until just this past week. We all stood there watching the current catch and pull the ashes, and for just a moment I was overwhelmed by the idea that I would never see my grandmother again; never touch her extremely soft skin; never kiss her whiskery cheek; never hear her recitations.

My grandmother was sharp as a tack to the very end, at least until the doctor's put her in a drug-induced coma to manage her pain. She was a whiz at reciting poems and songs from days-gone-by, and could remember things she had learned as a very little kid. I wish that I had learned some of them from her; I'd like to have that connection with her, and I'd like to be able to pass them on to the future.

Then, my father, my brother, his wife and the pastor rode up the hill and my dad placed the remainder of my grandmother's ashes at the base of a tree around which he had also spread the ashes of his other family members, my grandfather and my uncle. It hits me now, as it did in December, that my father is an orphan; the only remaining member of his birth family. He has no surviving predecessors. That makes me ache for him, and for my children, who can no longer touch that part of their history.

Finally, we went to another park for a picnic. Perhaps some of my grandmother's ashes floated by us while my children frolicked in the river. Perhaps, instead, she settled in the soil of the river she loved so much. Or perhaps she did both. And, even though we were never really close, she did have a hand in making me who I am.

Wherever you are, Grandma, I love you.

Magic

There is magic all around us. Something magical occurs every day. Or, if you prefer, something miraculous occurs every day.
The world turns, the sun rises, and we open our eyes. If we are lucky, we get to gaze upon the faces of our loved ones.